How Would You Like This to End?

I have a close friend of mine going through a very tough personal situation. I’ve listened to them a few times discuss the challenges, their fears, and the ongoing struggle.

The most recent time they brought up the situation, I asked a simple question: “How would you like this to end?”

The question stumped them. After a few moments of silence, they finally said, “I’m not sure.”

I get it. Sometimes, with all the emotion involved, it’s hard to clear your head and know what the answer should be. When you’re right in the middle of something difficult, you’re often just trying to get through the day.

But (and this is a very big but), if you don’t know how you want it to end, or you don’t know what you’d like to see happen, how can you do anything about it?

Without some idea of where you’re trying to go, you end up reacting to whatever happens next. Instead of directing your story, you’re simply living through it.

Write the Punch Line First

There is a great ​Dave Chappelle clip​ where he writes down punch line after punch line and then puts the pieces of paper to the side. He doesn’t know how he’ll get to each punch line yet, but he knows the ending. From there, he works backward to build the joke.

This fascinated me. I wasn’t sure whether it would work for me or not. The good news was I had a project where I needed some help.

I’ve been working on a particular novel for a long time. I had about 20,000 words written, but once I landed at a certain spot in the story, I didn’t know where I wanted to go. I had characters, plotlines, and plenty of ideas, but no clear destination.

So I decided to employ Chappelle’s strategy.

I wrote the last chapter of the book. I was surprised by how easy it was to do this, to be honest. After I finished, I began going through the rest of the chapters, figuring out what needed to happen to reach that ending.

All of a sudden, I wasn’t stuck anymore. I knew where I needed to go.

Such simple advice, right? So easy, yet so difficult to execute.

The Ending Changes Everything

When I left the corporate world to start a business, the first six months were a struggle. I mean, starting any business is difficult, but my biggest problem was that I didn’t really know what I wanted the business to become.

I was doing a lot of things, working long hours, and trying just about everything. But looking back, I wasn’t exactly sure where all that effort was supposed to take me.

Eventually, I sat down and wrote out my picture of what I wanted the business to look like. How big did I want it to be? What kind of business did I really want to build? What would success actually look like? Sell it or keep it?

Once I did that, things started to change.

Some of the things I was spending time on suddenly seemed ridiculous because they had nothing to do with where I wanted to go. Other things became more important because they clearly fit the vision.

The business didn’t suddenly become easier to build, but making decisions became a whole lot easier.

Which brings me back to my friend.

I don’t know how their personal situation is going to end. Even if they knew exactly what they wanted, there’s no guarantee things would work out that way. Sometimes other people make decisions for us. Sometimes life doesn’t cooperate.

But I do believe that knowing what you want gives you a better chance of making it happen. At the very least, it helps you understand what you can control and what you can’t.

There’s a big difference between knowing how something will end and knowing how you’d like it to end.

The first is usually impossible. The second is something we can actually do.

Your Turn

So here’s something I’d like you to try this week.

Think about one area of your life where you feel stuck. Maybe it’s your job, your business, a relationship, or something you’ve been wanting to accomplish for years but haven’t made much progress on.

Now ask yourself the same question I asked my friend: How would you like this to end?

Write down one sentence describing your ideal outcome. Don’t worry about how you’re going to get there. Don’t worry about all the obstacles standing in your way. Just write the ending.

Once you’ve done that, work backward. What needs to happen to make that ending possible? What should you stop doing? What should you start doing? What’s one thing you could do today that would move you in the right direction?

You may not get the exact ending you want. The story may take a few unexpected turns along the way. That’s life.

But you don’t need to know every chapter of the story before you begin. Sometimes you just need to write the ending first.

P.S.: Ready to take a chance on yourself?

If you’ve been putting off that idea, project, or big move, maybe it’s time to stop waiting. My free 21-Day Challenge is designed to help you stop overthinking and start taking action. One small step every day for 21 days.

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